In my last post I wrote about my reflections upon having gone public about the abuse that I suffered as a child. Since publishing that post I have downloaded some more insights into this on a deeper level and have a new understanding of why it is so important.
In our current culture, particularly in the West, we avoid pain and darkness at all costs. Usually the cost is to ourself. As we fight to keep any dark parts hidden and only allow other people to see the ‘good’ parts of us, we are causing an imbalance. Not only an imbalance in ourselves as we then have to become overly ‘nice’ often, to compensate, but it also causes an imbalance in society as society seeks to hide all things which are dark. This leads to polarisation and can lead to extreme behaviour at both ends of the scale e.g. corruption, abuse, theft etc. There are certain topics of conversation that are then taboo such as abuse or death. By hiding things such as abuse it will then cause resistance and will lead to further abuse as since it is hidden and not talked about in society, it will also remain hidden within the unconscious mind of the individual who has been abused as that person seeks to suppress the feelings of shame and guilt which society places upon them. They will suppress memories and instead will act out the damage sustained by the abuse in unconscious ways which often then leads to abuse of their own children and so the cycle continues.
The only way to break the cycle and to help people to heal is to bring it out into the open and to share and release all of those pent up feelings and to realise that you are not the only one and it isn’t your fault. On a wider scale than this we need to change our attitude to all of our darkness and instead we need to learn how to embrace pain. For it is in the darkness that we find wisdom and healing. It is only when we have experienced deep pain and darkness that we come to realise that even in the darkness there is only love. This will help us to unify inside of ourselves. It will help us to find acceptance and most importantly to forgive. Forgive others and to forgive ourselves and then we are able to find peace.
Something quite extra ordinary has happened as a result of me sharing my darkness. I have met a kindred spirit on this subject and we are going to set up a Facebook group to allow people to share in a safe environment, as I realise that some people may be reluctant to share for fear of hurting loved ones. There may possibly be workshops as well in the future so watch this space. So as I was saying…………….in the darkness there is always love.