Day 5 in the desert

 

Today is about connecting to the throat chakra and speaking your truth. Saying yes when you mean it and no when you mean it. The power mantra is I am truth – Inana Shrara. I was surprised at the emotions that came up when practicing this breathing technique. Breathing in through the heart while repeating Inana and out through the throat while repeating shrara. I felt grief and sadness and suddenly wanted to vomit and wretch, which is an indication that something is clearing. The emotions came on suddenly and lasted seconds but they were deep. Thoughts then came to me, reminding me of the fact that I am 50yrs old this year and so I am starting to age and I started to ask myself what have I achieved with my life and have I achieved what I want to. The answer was a resounding no and then I felt immense grief for wasting so much of my life and the gifts that have been given to me and so I have made a vow to myself to make the most of the life that I have left and share my gifts with the world. Time is ticking along and I don’t want to leave this world with only having existed. I want to make a difference. I want to live my mission. I want to live MY truth and no one else’s.  I want to have rich, deep, meaningful relationships. I want to find my life partner and experience the deepest love in physical form. I want to develop as a person on all levels to the best that I can possibly be in this physical body. So in that case I have to rid myself of the last remnants of lack of self love and go for it. I deserve to be happy and have a life filled with love now. I am love. Inana Rakhma. I have lot’s to offer this world, as has everyone and it is time to stop telling myself anything less and selling myself short.  I have always felt that I haven’t got anything new to share within the spiritual movement/community but over the last few weeks, I am realising more and more that I have lot’s of insights and personal points of view of how I see the world and how it works that might be valuable to others to help them on their journey also. And even if my views are not totally new, I might put the information forward in a way that reaches people that haven’t seen or resonated with this stuff before. We all help each other. We are all walking each other home. I had thought that there couldn’t possibly be anything new to share and who am I to think that I have anything new that is of value to offer but then I thought to myself that I was buying into the old paradigm by thinking that others know more than I do. We all have pieces of the jigsaw puzzle and by sharing my piece then others might share theirs too. We all activate each other and turn on the dormant DNA that spirals us to an ever increasing understanding of ourselves and our own true power. The secret is quite simple LOVE!!

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