Just fucking do it!!

What do you want to do with your life?

Who are you?

What’s stopping you from doing and being what you know you are placed on this earth to do/be?

Faith, self belief, self worth, perseverance, commitment, discipline, consistency plus more are required for all of the above. And why is it such hard work to just do and be what we were placed on this earth to do/be? Because, my darling, you are going against the grain or fighting against the matrix, against social conditioning and programming. From an early age we are taught that it is wrong to be different from everyone else, to stick out, to shine. And our biggest controllers, who try and keep us down and keep us the in line with everyone else, are other humans. So in order to be and do what you were sent here to be and do requires not giving a shit what anyone else thinks of you. For me this was a hard lesson, because I had been brought up to feel that other peoples opinions of me were the most important thing to govern my existence here. My mum ran her life worrying about what other people would think of her and this was instilled into me from a young age. So much so, that I was extremely self conscious and afraid to speak up, for fear of what others would think, let alone shine my spirit light and be my true self. It has taken many years of deprogramming to reach a point where I am not that concerned with what others think of me, although there is still some work to do on this. If this sounds familiar, then just know that the world needs you. The world needs whatever it is that makes you unique………………. your spirit, your soul essence and the gifts that it has bestowed upon you, in order to help, inspire, heal others, in service and to make this world a more positive, loving, healthy and awake place. We all have a piece to the puzzle and sometimes it is hard to see what the whole picture will look like, until all of those pieces start to come together.

Do you want to reach the end of  your life and have just been a clone of everyone else, working your arse off until retirement and then fading into nothingness, because society deems that you are not productive any more. And that all of those years of ‘productivity’ have stolen your creativity and your soul and you don’t know who you are any more. Working in a children’s hospice, I learnt so much from my patients and the main thing being that most people are afraid of death and live their lives as if they are never going to die and have all the time in the world and so they put off all of the stuff that they really want to do and instead, get caught up in the distractions and self gratification, but then one day they reach middle age and they are like ‘woah, how did that happen’ and they have not hardly scratched the surface of achieving all of the stuff that they put on their list. They have been too busy worrying about what other people think and too busy working their slave jobs, being loyal to a system that rapes you of your vision, creativity, inspiration and individuality………….. the very qualities that make you human. We have filled our time with distractions which surround us in daily life, and have not taken the time to be alone with ourselves. Then bam!!

What can I do to make you see how beautiful you are. What can I do to help you feel that you are worth everything that you dream of and so much more. What does it take for you to believe that all of your fears are false. Sometimes (often) all of this negative self talk makes it seem impossible to be able to live the life that you dream of because deep inside you feel that you don’t deserve it, because the people who do break out of the matrix molds, are somehow seen to be special or more gifted than the rest of humanity, and these people are given titles such as celebrities, and other people worship them. But it is not true that they are more special than any other human. Everyone is gifted. You just got to discover yours. There is nothing more tragic than unexpressed or repressed gifts and talents that have been waiting for the right moment, the right outlet, for someone to discover them, for themselves to gain enough self belief to be able to shine. The truth is, there is no right moment, outlet, someone………………….. you have to seize the moment and just fucking do it!!

Perception is everything

So what if our reality was shaped by our perception?

This is true. How we see the world, governs how the world responds to us. Everything is connected, because everything is consciousness and that consciousness is responsive to our thoughts and emotions or rather, our beliefs. We are creator beings because of this. No other beings have this capability because they do not have all of the required ingredients. ie rational thought and emotions, which lead to beliefs.

Unfortunately, human consciousness has been hijacked and we are currently being manipulated to create the reality that the control system wants. So how can that be? Well, if these beings are unable to create this reality for themselves,  because they don’t possess all of the ingredients themselves, then they have to get us to do it for them and keep us as slaves in the process. How do they do this? They get us to create the reality that they want by manipulating human consciousness, and how do they manipulate human consciousness……………… by manipulating human perception, in order to manipulate beliefs.

Our perception is affected by many things, which include cognition, thought processes, trauma, past experiences, childhood programming plus others.

Cognition can be affected by many environmental factors such as toxins in food eg fluoride, processed food, it can also be affected by stress and fear. All of these factors are prevalent in our society, and this is not a coincidence. Flouride is a neurotoxin and was used in world war II, as an experiment to dumb down the public. It is now added to drinking water…………. it doesn’t take a neuro scientist to work that one out. Yet most people don’t question it because they are programmed from being small that the authorities have our best interests at heart, and they are emotionally traumatized from birth and filled with fear and disempowerment to be able to take matters into their own hands. Instead being compliant, well behaved citizens, that work hard at their jobs and keep themselves busy and also play equally hard by partying and consuming large amounts of alcohol, in order to block out the suppressed emotions, which are too uncomfortable for them to look at, because it might make them question their whole existence. And so because of all of these factors, their thought processes are affected and so is their perception of reality, which then forms their beliefs, which then continues to create this prison matrix that they exist in. So yeah, humans might possess all of the ingredients for them to be able to create their reality, but unbeknown to most of them, the controlling forces, also have created a reality with all of the ingredients to keep humans creating a reality which will keep them locked here as prisoners. So essentially creating their own prison.

So how can we break free and take back our own power.

By seeing what is happening and by seeing ourselves and knowing ourselves and this requires us to be really really honest with ourselves and with others also, and it requires us to be willing to change and willing to see that maybe our life was built on a lie, and to trust that there is a bigger plan and that the universe has our back. It requires us to integrate all aspects of self. When we are traumatised, at a young age, our mind can split into fragments and can cause parts of our soul to split or fracture. When we can bring these lost parts of ourselves back and integrate them into the now, we can then begin to heal and we may see our reality slightly differently, or our perception will change slightly. The MKUltra experiments intentionally caused this split in human consciousness, by deliberately causing trauma to a young child. There were other reasons for them doing this, but one of them was to keep that person prisoner here, by preventing them from integrating all aspects of self.

By being mindful of what we are putting into our bodies and avoiding processed foods. Also, by detoxing on a regular basis, in order to prevent the build up of toxins in the body, particularly the brain.

Too many people seem to have had their thought processes hijacked, but I am hoping that it isn’t too late. I am hoping that enough people will see through the lies and begin to wake up and take their power back. Not through violence, although this is better than apathy, but by getting to know who they are, by integrating all aspects of themselves, and by clearing all negative programming and doing the shadow work, so that they are no longer triggered by external events. Which means then, that they will no longer be able to have their mind and their perception and beliefs manipulated and their creative energy used to create the reality that the negative agenda beings want. We will be creating the world that we want and deserve because we will be aligned to our spirit and our soul purpose.

Be your own inspiration

What inspires you to be the best version of you?

Sounds like a simple enough question, but it is multi faceted. When we admire another person, what are the qualities in that person that we admire? And is admiration the same as being inspired? Personally, I think that they are connected but I think it is possible to admire someone but without being inspired by them, depending what it is about the person which we admire. We might admire someone for the qualities that we feel that we don’t possess. In which case the admiration can become disempowering because we look up to that person as having something which we, ourselves, are lacking. This can then lead to hero worship and placing this person, which is the focus of the admiration, on a pedestal. This is not a healthy form of admiration and comes from feelings of low self worth or lack of confidence.

Whereas, someone who inspires you will make you want to be the best version of you and will empower you to feel that that is possible. I have been inspired by many people over the years, from the staff nurse on the ward, who would always put the patient at the centre of her care and was a great advocate for them, to the patients and families themselves, who were ALWAYS an inspiration for the wisdom and courage that they displayed, which was way beyond their years in dealing with, not only the illnesses and difficulties that they faced (and some of these were beyond challenging), but also in how they dealt with life in general. More recently I have been inspired by a film, which was based upon a true story about a young teenage girl, called Carley Allison. If you live in Canada, you may well have heard of her. She became ill with a rare throat cancer when she was 16yrs old, had a tracheostomy put in and underwent chemo and radiotherapy. Before she became ill she was an accomplished figure skater and she was also a musician/singer and was planning to go to music college. She continued to sing, even with a tracheostomy, and as a nurse myself, I know how almost impossible this is. She made videos for youtube and gained lots of followers and raised lots of money for cancer research. She didn’t complain once, during her illness and she did conquer the throat cancer but a couple of years later the cancer returned, this time to her lungs but was incurable. Despite all of this, she carried on sharing her gifts with the world and as she said, cancer had taken away so much from her but it had also taught her such a lot, and one thing it taught her was to make sure that she put her mark in the world’. The film, and story of Carley’s journey with cancer has touched me deeply. This was a young lady who had the whole world as her oyster. She was a very talented and gifted young lady and she suddenly had any potential future dreams taken away from her so she made sure that she crammed as much into the short time that she had remaining, as she could, and that she made a huge impact in the process, or as she said, ‘made her mark’. So in other words, she didn’t become a victim to the cancer. She also, didn’t go into denial about it. She looked it straight in the eye and acknowledged it and said FUCK YOU CANCER and didn’t let it get the better of her. She was such a remarkable young lady. Even when she lost her hair, she saw the positive side that she got to wear lots of different wigs. This young woman, has touched me so deeply that I then went on youtube and watched some of her videos that she made when she was ill and it was then that I found out that the actress who played Carley in the film was her best friend in real life and then I felt deep admiration for the actress too.

And so after watching this film, I got to thinking about how I am using my gifts and talents and am I using them to my full potential, or am I even using them at all. Have I allowed myself to get distracted or have I lost confidence or have recent events in my family life sucked all my creativity from me? Probably a little bit of all of those, because I’m definitely not using my gifts and talents to their full potential and then I feel guilty because I have been told that I have so many gifts and talents by so many people, and certainly as a child, I had so much potential but the fear that I held inside of me from my abusive childhood, held me back hugely. From being very small though, I have always known that I was going to be a nurse and this was the thing that motivated me and inspired me to break out of my shell and be a damn good nurse and help people. I have been inspired by so many people, and learnt so much from my nursing but there is still so much inside of me which I need to express. So this is why I am writing this blog post. Apparently writing is one of my talents. I could and I will write about so much that I have learnt and seen and experienced in my life, but the main thing which is motivating and inspiring me now, and actually it always has been but not as prominently as it is now, is my spiritual work. Which is probably why I am so interested in innerstanding what inspires us, because to me this is everything. IN (in) SPIRE (spirit). For when we are inspired, we are literally expressing our spirit and when we express our spirit, then we are soul embodied and fulfilling our purpose on earth, and everyone will feel this because it will uplift them and fill them with inspiration and empowerment to express their own spirit through their gifts and talents.

So much of modern life is designed to stop us from being inspired and to instead disempower us and give our power away to others, who are perceived as more than us…………. more talented, more beautiful, more more more………… but the truth is it is ALL within. We are our own inspiration and actually, it can only come from within. True inspiration can only be found within…………. this is your spirit calling…………………

Healing the masculine and feminine

We live in a crazy, topsy turvy world. Or at least it can seem that way sometimes, especially these days as chaos seems to reign supreme. It is definitely topsy turvy, by design by the invading consciousness that has hijacked this reality and the chaos is the resistance of nature trying to bring everything back into balance.

Today is Father’s day, all over the world, and families are paying tribute to the fathers in their lives. This has always been a difficult day for me. A day tinged with sadness at not being able to participate and shame because my own father did not love me enough to stick around. My parents split up when I was five years old, and divorced when I was 7 years old. But even before they split, I had never had a close relationship with my father, because he simply wasn’t around much. It is said by psychologists that it is our relationship with the parent of the opposite sex that shapes our relationships in adult life. Freud, Jung and co would have had a field day with me. Indeed, when I was a teenager and young adult, I struggled to even hold a normal conversation with an adult that I didn’t know, particularly men. So maybe there is something in what the psychologists have to say. But I have spent all of my adult life healing those past wounds and traumas and, although I am no chatterbox that can just talk for hours to anyone, I am pretty much as healed as I am ever going to be, and I am no longer afraid of talking to men. For that reason, I wasn’t going to write my blog about this but then there is a part of me that does wonder about him. I do sometimes wonder if I should try and contact him. But then I don’t know if that will achieve anything at this stage. The reason why I decided to write this is because of my relationship with my mum. Yes, that does sound a bit contradictory, but for me, it is the maternal ancestral lineage that requires the most healing. And what I have realised is, that this is down to me.

The pervading archonic consciousness that has hijacked this reality, has inverted everything. It has done this in order to cause confusion, and to prevent us from reaching our true potential because the invertions keep us locked in this reality in a perpetual reincarnation cycle and they use us for loosh or they use our soul energy as fuel as they have become disconnected from source. Sexual energy is one of the most powerful human creative energies, if not THE most powerful creative energies and it is through divine union and sacred marriage that miracles can occur and we can activate all 12 strands of DNA and become exactly who we are meant to be. Divine union can occur with a partner but it can also occur within a person who has integrated their own divine feminine and masculine energies. So it stands to reason that the pervading archonic consciousness would want to sabotage this. And they have done quite a good job of this thus far. They have even created  a structure that resides underneath Stonehenge, that collects and reverses all sexual energy. This results in sexual distortions and perversions and confusion over gender roles etc. It also creates wounds and they become cyclical, as they are passed from generation to generation from the learnt behaviour passed from parent to child from the parent who has been wounded by their wounded parents, who have not integrated their divine masculine and feminine. It is a truth that hurt people, hurt people, and so the cycles repeat themselves, through mysogyny, sexual abuse, rape, domestic violence, feminism, emotional, mental and other types of abuse. It is all connected. And not only do we pass these behaviours and wounds to our children through example and through how we treat our own offspring but it is also passed on through our genes. Children do adopt all of their parents hangups. A lot of this is passed on unconsciously and totally innocently. For example, my mum has always had a problem with her weight, while I have been around, and I was very acutely aware of this as a small child. Maybe I was an extra sensitive child, but I remember being paranoid about not putting too much weight on as I was growing up, and as a 20 yr old, I only weighed 7 and a half stone, but if I got to 8 stone, I would cut back on my eating because I was afraid of getting fat. I didn’t have an eating disorder by any means, but I did watch what I ate and I know that this was directly related to my mum’s attitude to her weight problem as I was growing up because I could see how unhappy it made her. Even when I was 2 yrs old I was worried that my thighs were too fat. So I know that my mum passed on all of her issues to me. My mum was/is a very fearful person. She is afraid of everything. Most of all she is afraid of what other people will think of her. I spent my childhood being afraid of my own shadow and when I left home I had no idea who I was at all. Interestingly, I am not afraid of much any more but there are still some things that I need to work on. I refuse to let anything external to myself control me. But it has taken a lifetime to get to this point and I have spent much of my life missing out on opportunities because I was too afraid to do anything about them. But at least I am healing now.

My relationship with my mum has always been difficult. We are opposite in almost every way. Although, when there is no stress or disagreements we get on ok. But my mum sees any sort of disagreement with her as being some sort of a reflection on the whole mother and daughter relationship. I was simply not allowed to disagree with her or have a different opinion to her or she would see that as rejection. Growing up I suffered all kinds of abuse, because of my mums unhealed wounds. The emotional, mental abuse and neglect came solely from her own wounds. I knew this instinctively as a child, as I have always been an empath, but because I was still a child, and I had needs that needed to be taken care of by a parent figure, it was almost impossible to have compassion for her, because I thought she should be able to put that aside and care for her children and that, as well as my parents splitting up, had a really detrimental effect on me. I have hung around, though, because of my brother. He has Down’s syndrome and I just wanted to make sure that he was ok. Hoping that one day my mum would begin to look at alternative living arrangements for him so that he could have some independence and also in case anything should happen to her. But no, she wasn’t able to do that and I think that the reasons why she was unable to do that run even deeper than her own wounds from this lifetime.  As she dug her heels in more and more, I started to become more and more resentful and felt that she was wanting me to take over the caring role. This made it even more difficult for us to communicate. We did come close, once, to looking at some supported living but then someone said something that she didn’t like so she put up the barriers again. Then she started getting old and not very good on her feet and I said to her a couple of years ago that she shouldn’t leave it until she couldn’t cope any more because it takes time to find a suitable placement. But no, because social services would need to be involved, she would not entertain the thought. So then, last year, it got to the point where she wasn’t really coping. We got a social worker involved, and he has been better than most of them but still she was being difficult, as the social worker was trying to sort out respite in shared care but she sabotaged that because I don’t think she could stand the thought of someone else being able to look after him and her not being able to do that any more. I started to have him stay with me once a month after I had had to take him in an emergency because it was all getting too much, but she stopped him coming to my house because I could cope with him. This seems silly, and it is to most people because she is 80 yrs old now and not good on her feet at all and I don’t know how anyone of  her age should be expected to look after my brother, as his behaviour isn’t easy. I used to get angry with her, I used to feel despair and frustration. I have cried when she has told me that I interfere when we go to appointments, when all I am doing is being an advocate for both of them. But what I have come to understand is that she sees that as her role and rather than admit that she can’t do that sort of thing very well, even though I am a professional and know the system myself, she would rather project her own insecurities onto me, even now, after all these years. Plus there is also some cognitive decline and a general reluctance to accept that she is getting older. So now, I have reached a point where I can’t be angry with her any more. I have nothing but compassion for her. I realise that she is still a wounded child that never received the unconditional love that a child should do from it’s parents and so now, it is up to me to show her that unconditional love. It is up to me to help her to heal and, in the process, help to heal the ancestral wounds that are so ingrained in the maternal side of my family. I have realised that I don’t need her approval any more. I am not a child any more. I have healed most of my wounds. What I see is a frail, vulnerable adult, who is struggling to come to terms with her own mortality and so I will be here when I can and support her in the best way that I can. And yes it feels too much sometimes, yes I feel as if I am torn into 10 different parts sometimes but I will support her, because I have compassion and if I can help ease the situation in any way, I will and this will then heal the relationship between the two of us and hopefully will help her to heal her own wounds, although there are no guarantees with that one. Either way, there is no point in trying to get an 80 yr old to see anything in a different way. So maybe it is me that needs to see things in a different way and to let go and accept where she is at and trust the Universe.

Inner work

The term, doing the inner work is used a lot in spiritual circles and has been adopted by the New Age pop spirituality to describe a means of growth and development and even a way of reaching enlightenment. But what exactly does ‘doing the inner work’ actually mean. In this article I will try and explain, but I can only describe my own thoughts and feelings about it based upon own personal experience. I am aware that others may have a different perception of what it means.

Speaking from my own perspective, I think that doing the inner work means to clear all the blocks within oneself that leads to self awareness. True self awareness, to me, leads to embodiment, as when something is aware of itself, it has to be the spirit that holds that awareness, the inner voice and knowing that we have that is different to our thoughts and emotional reactions. But that is another article in and of itself, although connected and integral to the process of the inner work. For today I will try to explain what the inner work means to me.  Self awareness is crucial to the process of inner work and from my personal experiences there seems to be different stages of this. As we release all that is not really us, ie the programmes, emotional trauma, thought patterns, beliefs, etc that no longer serve us, then we are led through different stages of self awareness and it is necessary to go through these stages in order to build upon the awareness we have already gained and to go deeper within ourselves. To me, the stages seem to begin with no awareness,  that when a person possesses hardly any self awareness then they will react to every situation from unconscious beliefs and patterns, with no awareness of why they are doing it or what the consequences might be for themselves or others.

So the first stage of self awareness is when someone becomes aware of the other ie why someone might behave the way that they do. So they recognise that there might have been an event in the past that might have caused the other person to behave in a certain way. An obvious example of this would be if someone had just lost someone close to them and the person was grieving. We would then recognise that the person was upset because someone close to them had just died and that this is a natural reaction and we would be mindful of this and adjust our behaviour. Whereas a person who had no self awareness at all would not make any adjustments in their behaviour because they would not see that it was necessary to do so. So therefore they would be lacking in empathy. They wouldn’t be able to relate to the other persons grief or have any understanding of how it would impact that person, so they could not empathise with them and so would not feel it necessary to change their own behaviour in order to minimise any distress to the grieving person. Or they would not be very tolerant of the grieving persons behaviour and so would expect them to carry on as normal. As crazy as this scenario sounds, you do see this in society to some degree, and more than most people would realise. I think that themajority of people would recognise that a person would be upset when someone close to them dies but they would maybe not fully realise the true impact and might expect them to only be upset for a few days and then go back to being  their normal self. But again, this relates to their own experience of death and how then they are able to put themselves in the other persons shoes. BUT it also relates to their own willingness to really look at the situation of the other, who is going through the grief. And this is a big part of the journey through self awareness, is the fear factor and how willing we are to face our fears, and death is truly one of the biggest fears that we face, as humans and it infiltrates into every aspect of our lives. So often people are not able to truly look at someone elses grief, because they fear their own mortality. And this can then lead to a lack of empathy as they are only able to support the other person, who is experiencing the grief, to the extent and the depth that they are able to look at death and their own mortality. Most people would be able to show some level of kindness and support but some are not even able to do that because they fear death so much. So stage one is the recognition of why someone might behave in a certain way, and it is related to our own experiences, in the most part or our own observations. But it doesn’t necessarily mean that we fully accept their behaviour. And when we take into account that the external world is a reflection of our internal world we can see here how this is the beginning stages of self awareness, as it is the external, here that is reflecting something back to us and we are able to recognise it but on an unconscious level.

Stage two is when we start to recognise and understand our own behaviour. This might start when we begin seeing certain patterns reoccurring in our lives. Maybe, we attract certain people into our life who treat us badly and we start to see that this is connected to patterns from our childhood where we were treated badly then and so we have developed a certain behaviour pattern which encourages others to treat us badly in our adult lives. Maybe we find it difficult to be assertive with others etc so we aren’t able to communicate our needs effectively to, and so we feel disempowered and then this perpetuates as we seem to seek people who will misuse their power against us and likewise, those who unconsciously seek to abuse their power over others, will subconsciously seek out people who they can do this with. Or also, because of our behaviour, or the energetics that we carry within us, we can trigger these unresolved aspects in each other, even if we don’t behave like this with everyone. So stage two is starting to recognise our own behaviour and the programmes that are not who we really are, and that there is usually (but not always on a conscious level) an identifyable reason or cause for this behaviour or belief pattern and this means we can then start to do something about it. Whereas in the unaware person, they will think that all their behaviours and belief patterns are who they really are. We start to become aware of our own patterns when we feel some discomfort with the way that our lives are. This is our spirit talking to us and telling us that this isn’t who we truly are and it gives us the impetus to look at this a little deeper and understand why we behave in a certain way.  Similarly, when similar events keep appearing in our lives that seem to trigger certain emotions or behaviour, it is our spirit that it giving us an opportunity to look at it and see what is truly going on.

These two stages, in and of themselves, form the basis of the development of self awareness. And although I have called them stage one and stage two, and that stage one has to happen before we can reach any level of stage two, it isn’t linear, in that we are always learning about others and we are constantly learning about ourselves. So it is like a dance as we flit between the two. There are also many layers and so there is always the opportunity to go deeper into ourselves and deepen the self awareness. And it is a symbiotic process then, for as we deepen our own self awareness, then our empathy and compassion deepens for others. So I guess that this process could be called stage three, but as I said, it is not linear and it is not something which can be achieved with the mind. It is an alchemical process that happens when when our spirit is merging with our physical vessel. If you can imagine that our spirit is purity. Our spirit is our true self. Our spirit is our higher awareness and so therefore can only ever be in integrity. Our spirit longs to be merged with our physical body but it can only do that if the physical vessel is of the same level of integrity and authenticity. So as our spirit tries to merge with our body, when it comes across something within us that is not who we truly are ie a belief pattern or behaviour, trauma etc that is held in our cells, it will trigger us in some way or attract events or situations to us that give us the opportunity to look at it and dissolve it or integrate something which we have maybe blocked. And I say an opportunity, because it is a choice. We have to choose and be willing to be totally honest with ourselves and that can be extremely difficult and extremely painful. When I look around I see that everyone is in a different stage and that the majority of people tend to build a wall of protection around them so that they can avoid looking at too much pain. They build a life that is comfortable and they surround themselves with people who only reflect their positive aspects and they will block the negative because they are so protected that they don’t need to look at it or the pain that might ensue. It is perhaps only when some tragedy happens to them or someone close to them that they are then forced, maybe to look at the something which they may have been avoiding. But even then, they may not choose to look at it, they may choose insanity. And this is the fear factor, and there are many therapies etc out there that can help us with these fears but we have be willing to go there. For me, there is no choice. I had, what most would call, including me for a long time, a challenging and traumatic childhood. And I know I am not the only one who has. But this gave me the motivation to overcome everything that happened to me and through this process has led me to a deeper and deeper awareness of myself and it never stops. There is always more to know and learn about yourself and your relationship to the world and to others. There is always more to know because the universe is constantly expanding and therefore so are we. If we are able to face the things that we are afraid of then we can see how the things that we feared would kill us are nothing. Energy cannot be killed and we are all energetic beings. Fears can, however, block our spirit and it is our spirit which helps us to reach our full potential and access our gifts and our purpose.

Our external reality is designed to discourage us from doing the inner work and from merging with our spirit. This is done through a variety of means, through additives and manipulation of our food, to keeping us busy and in our heads all the time and constantly doing, disempowering us and keeping us in a state or comparing ourselves to others and making the others that we compare ourselves to an unattainable ideal for most  people, in order to make people feel inadequate, and through making people feel that having negative emotions is not normal so that people either hide  them and are not authentic in their relationships or that they medicate to numb the feelings either with alcohol, drugs or prescription medication. All of this is a distraction to prevent us from becoming self aware, or spirit aware and spirit embodied.

There does seem to be another stage, or that is how I am perceiving it anyway. And that is that when you see, what could be classed as a negative behaviour in someone else or someone does something  to you that you find hurtful, then you instantly see this behaviour in yourself. This is kind of difficult to explain as it is more the impact that this has on you, rather than just it’s recognition. So what I have found is that even when someone does something which you once perceived as being wrong and is wrong in the eyes of society (and I’m not talking about taking another persons life or rape or any physical violation here) is that after my initial anger, I am then shown (after I ask what my part in it all is) how either I behave like that sometimes or if I don’t behave in exactly the same way, I am shown why they are behaving the way that they are and that not only that, often I have had similar experiences and have similar patterns, which have mostly healed but there are still more layers and that even though there are similar patterns, the way that I externalise it is different to the other person. For me, this can only lead to greater compassion and forgiveness. Not only for the other person but also for myself. And in that forgiveness comes healing, for all parties.

What I have just realised over the past couple of days is that you eventually reach a level where you have cleared, transmuted, dissolved, healed, integrated most of the false beliefs, behaviours, and patterns but there is a residue of it still left and a realisation that it will never go away and that then leads to the final stage of acceptance and true compassion and unconditional love of self and others. I am not there yet but this was quite a profound realisation for me and I am well on my way from just having this realisation. There are some things that happen to us when we are children that we can’t completely eradicate from our body.  When we have eliminated all of the emotional responses and unconscious behaviour that resulted from those experiences, the experiences are still there. It’s not going to go away. It is part of us and so the next stage is to accept it as such. Not because we condone it but because it just is and we can’t change it. The beauty of this is that in the unravelling of these experiences and journey of healing and integration, we have learnt so much about who we are but also as well, we have become more than we were before, through the process of alchemy of our spirit with our human vessel. I am not sure if I am explaining this very well as it is so hard to put into words but this is how it feels to me and I hope that you can get the basis of what I am trying to say.

So the inner work is THE most important work that you can do. In fact it is the ONLY work.  Life and listening to our body shows us what we need to do next. It isn’t a mental process that happens through studying or reading books or from positive thinking or even from meditation necessarily (although meditation helps some people).  It is a natural process of that longing to merge with your spirit and become the truest and best version of yourself while in physical form in order to live your full potential and your life purpose. Most people are severely compromised by external forces but we can break through it. We can and we must and we must not become complacent with the person who we are now. There is alway more work to do. We can always become more of who we really are.

 

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